Saturday, May 21, 2011
We named the baby Josephine Rain (God Will Increase Rain) because we believe in this year of blessings and favor. And she is a blessing! So is the rest of the stuff that has followed her conception and her cathartic (for me) birth.
But with every birth comes a dying. For new growth to come, a pruning must occur. There was a miscarriage. A dying of my own will and ambition around childbirth. And what was born in that moment was a humility that needed to appear before I could be ready for this next season. And then...
This February my father-in-law died unexpectedly from lung cancer and other complications. A few weeks after that my maternal grandmother died from complications from a stroke. Then, a week or so ago my paternal grandmother fell on her face and broke her nose creating bleeding in her brain. After an operation and a stroke she no longer had movement in one side of her body, or use of her speech. She went to be with Jesus, this morning.
I know all three loved Jesus. The irony of the supposed "rapture" that was going to happen today is not lost on me. But all joking aside, I know loss must happen. I know Joy can be full in the midst of sorrow, and I fine myself living more and more in the dichotomy of that place.
I'm sure there will be more on this blog about loss, gifts and life. For now I'm sitting a little stunned by all this, but expectantly waiting to see what comes next.